Does this make any sense?

"We will do what make sense." This seems to be a favorite phase of WM Cheang - a former IT Manager for Intel Malaysia. Cheang gave me the impression that he would do a sanity check whenever he makes a decision by asking himself "does this make sense?" I took no notice of this until recently when I learned that to be a lecturer in Engineering in Malaysia will require the person's first degree to be in Engineering. In other words, if say you did a double degree and were first conferred with a degree not in Engineering and that you later pursue and completed a PhD in Engineering, you are not qualified to teach Engineering in Malaysia.

I was informed by someone who is the Head of Engineering at a College in Malaysia that the organisation governing the standard of education in Malaysia has to protect local universities! Don't know how such a rule will protect local universities and so I went to this governing body's web site but I was not able to find any mention of such rule. I tried the organisation that concerns Engineering education specifically and I couldn't find any mentioned of such rule there either. I tried calling them but the best I got was a voice mail. While googling above, I stumbled across an article of similar vein.

Here is another interesting practice. Below is a picture of a label the department of statistic in Malaysia have for each residence! I have seen these attached near the main entrance and even the main door. I couldn't figure out what's the rationale of having to tag each residence this way or when these labels will be used again.

By the way, this is not a Malaysian thing. Take a look at these outdated ridiculous laws.

Sure we can't do anything about such strange law/regulation/practises. But we sure can make sure that we do not do things that don't make sense! Recently, whilst working together with a friend to design a database, I kept asking if the structure we put in place makes sense. Some two or so hours later, I noticed that this friend started to do the same asking the rationale and if something we are proposing makes sense!

It is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice

Several years ago, the company I was working for reorganised itself to have a matrix reporting structure. In the process a few people were promoted to become project managers. One of them reportedly gave instructions to his team members without considering the consequences of their impact on other projects that some of these headcounts were also assigned to. His action upset another of his fellow project manager and embarrassed himself in the process. The other project manager was saying that power has gotten to the head of this new project manager!

A friend of my, Andrew Tan, relate to me a story about him getting promoted while working in the US. At that point his father told him that this. "It is very nice to be important. But it is more important to be nice." I find this advice from Andrew's father very meaningful.

Turning chicken salad into chicken shit

I first heard this expression from an Irish friend sometime around mid 2006. It is an expression meaning to turn/convert something good into something bad. Here is a story (based on true events) that is a good example of turning chicken salad into chicken shit.

Sometime around the late 1990s, an American MNC operating a factory in Asia noticed that they are not able to retain their junior operators. They don't seem to have such a problem with their older more experienced operators. Puzzled why that is they hired a consultant to look into the problem. The consultant, having being hired by almost all the companies around that area for very similar reasons, knows the package each are offering and informed this company that their package for their senior operators is above market whilst the package for their junior operators is not competitive. As you would expect, it is recommended that the package for the junior operators be adjusted. The GM of that factory at the time agreed. However, to avoid the senior operator feeling left out in that exercise, this GM also made a small adjustment for the senior operators.

When the new pay package was announced, some senior operators wanted to know why the adjustment to their pay is a lot less than those for junior operators. It felt unfair and that senior operators are not valued. Some senior operators got together and asked the HR director. It is purported that the response these senior operators got from the HR director was "you are old trees and have no more juice." It is also purported that this HR director told these senior operators that "the door is always open if you are not happy!" Unhappy with the response, these senior operators got together and walked off the job! For a couple of weeks, the operators were just wondering around the factory refusing to work and it took the effort of the GM and his direct reports a couple of weeks to get this under control. The good intention of the GM (the chicken salad) was literally turned into chicken shit by the HR director!

It is very easy to turn chicken salad to chicken shit. It takes skills to turn chicken shit into chicken salad!

Once you reduced your premium, you can never get it back

Sometime around the late 1990s, someone told me that "once you reduced your premium you can never get it back." What he was trying to tell me was this. When you released a new product into the market, you can charge a premium for it. He was trying to tell me that if you do not take advantage of that and do not markup your price to include a premium, you will not be able to do it later.

Late last year, I was advising a few friends starting up a business. They were negotiating their very first contract and there was a huge difference between the quotation and what the customer was willing to pay. I told them that it may be better to do it at a lost then not having any income. In other words, going backward at half the pace is still better than going backward at full speed. Not having any other option, they took up the project. After the system was deployed at the customer's place, they then wanted to add a few more new features. Sounds like a good thing right? That initial discount is now leading to more business. Guess what, the customer expect the same lower pricing as before and will not pay for something additional where its costs is disproportional to the overall system costs. There is no ROI in such a customer and will not be profitable and so my friends had to drop this.

In their subsequent projects, my friends still give discount to first time customers. Confident that these customers will be satisfied and happy with their work that they will come back next time. However, the discount will not be as "silly" as their first deal and is stated in their quotation as a discount.

The same would go for pricing oneself. Will post stories related to this soon.

One eyed man in a blind men's world

This phrase, "be a one eyed man in a blind men's world," is yet another I learned from Kee Meng.

Imagine a world where everyone is blind. A person with vision in just one eye in such a world would have such an advantage even if it is not a perfect 20/20 vision. This person will also be highly valued by those blind around him or her.

Try before you buy

A few years ago, OSIM released their iSqueez foot massager and was promoting them heavily at major shopping centers in Malaysia. They were offering no obligation free try and even have units all around the shopping center unattended for all to use. My wife tried it a few times while shopping and was so impressed she couldn't resist not getting one and did after contemplating for sometime. Interestingly, the unit we bought did not seem to be that fantastic. My wife complaints that it is not as nice nor as relaxing as those at the shopping center! Worst of all, Harvey Norman were selling them for less and OSIM were reducing the price so quickly it makes you feel you as though you have just spent a fair bit of money on a piece of invisible cloth! I don't think We have settle the credit card payment when my wife stops using it!

After thinking about the whole experience for sometime my wife one day asked if I know why the unit at the shopping center felt so much better. And this is what she said. After all the walking at the shopping center you feet would be so tired that they will feels so good with the massager. Your feet would normally not be so tired to experience the same when you are at home. Unless, I suppose, if you had just done some walking around!

It seems that you can still get a burnt finger even after you have try before you buy. Review or recommendation by other users may be more valuable. Condition of display item may review more about the product as well. When reading recommendation from the web, do take note that some of these comments may be given by friends.

Presentation fear

I used to do tutorial and lab demonstration when I was a postgraduate student to help supplement my scholarship. I have always been very nervous conducting these especially tutorial as I was always fearful that there will be someone in the class more knowledgeable in the subject mater than myself. Someone who will make me look like a fool in front of everyone! There were cases where final year students would gather at the end of a lab session, usually after they have had a discussion amongst themselves, to ask me very insightful questions. In some cases, the questions asked are so intricate that it could have easily turned me into a bowl of noodle! I am very fortunate, however, that those were on subjects I enjoyed and have a better than average understanding and was never caught with my pants down! Though fearful of being inadequate, I do find these discussions very rewarding as these young men and women, inexperienced just a few years ago, are now have a meaning professional discussion.

In my recent role as an Innovation Manager for a Fortune 500 company, I have been conducting innovation workshops and classes and the same fear remains. I believe that unless I am a world renown expert in the subject matter I am presenting, there is always a possibility of having someone in the class who is more knowledgeable than myself. Naturally, one will need to learn ways to handle unexpected situations. As an example, a trainer/instructor has control over the session and can always suggest to take a discussion offline! Most postgraduate students will also learn the trick that when they are asked a question they don't understand or do not know how to answer during a conference presentation, they will say something like "If I understand your question correctly you are asking ......" rephrasing the question and then go on to answer their own question! You will also learn more or less the kind of questions people will ask after having delivered a material several times and be prepared for them. Even with these and other techniques one can never be too sure as the following story depicts.

A sex therapist was having a discussion with the group and the therapist said, a person happiness is directly proportional to the frequency they have sex. And to prove this to the group he asked a person in the group who don't look all that happy how often he has sex and the person replied, "About once a month if I am lucky." The therapist then went on to ask the next person who does not look happy nor unhappy the same question and the reply was "Oh! About once a fortnight." The next person who look relatively happy was then asked and he replied "Once a week, some time more than just the one." The therapist than asked an even happier looking person and he replied "Every other day without fail and sometime more!" Well feeling confident that the response from the group thus far supported what he said earlier, the therapist then when on to ask this person who was beaming with a smile that stretched from ear to ear the question and he replied "Once a year!" And with enthusiasm and excitement he jumped up and said "It is tonight!"

Do not take side when couple quarrel

When couple quarrel, each may complain about the other to their close friends or relatives. In the event that you find yourself being selected as one of these close friends or relatives and irrespective of how much you agree with the person, you must stay neutral and not be tempted to join in. What you said may be used against you when they make up!

Thinking process/technique

Once I was in a queue at the Monash University branch of the now defunct State Bank of Victoria. While waiting to be served, I overhead a teller informing a man at a counter very near where I was that the transaction will attract a fee. I can still see this man fidgeting for a few seconds and he asked "How can I avoid it?" I can't remember what the teller said but essentially this man was told there is no way around it.

What struck me at that point was the thinking process of this man which i am not familiar with. Interestingly, that is also the event that sparked my interests in thinking techniques! Allow me to elaborate.

Have you ever experience learning something where the instructor shows you a neat trick where it feels as though you have just been shown some valuable secret revealed only to a privileged few? This could be a sporting technique, a magic trick, a chess move etc. Well, it is no different for thinking process/technique. You can learn how others think (their thinking process) from what they say or do. Try this. The following is normally told as a joke but I found it to be very similar to the event above.

There is this policeman who would have lunch at this restaurant everyday and he would always order a whole roast chicken. Over time, the owner of the restaurant noticed this and would reserved one just for this policeman. One day, a man order for the same whole roast chicken and there was only one roast chicken left that was essentially reserved for the policeman. But since it was very late the restaurant owner thought that it would be very unlikely that the policeman will be coming for lunch that day and he might as well serve this man the last roast chicken.

Just as this man was being served the chicken, the policeman showed up and said, "That is my chicken! Whatever you do to that chicken, I will do the same to you. Cut it and I will cut you. Poke it with the fork and I will do the same to you!"

Let's pause for a while here and think what you would do if you where this man? You have just being served what you ordered and this policeman has just threaten to do to you what you do to the chicken he claimed is his!

You could let him have it and asked to be compensated by the restaurant or you can do what this man does.

This man casually poke his finger into the backside of the chicken, turned it back and forth a few times, pull it out and put it into his mouth to suck the juices off it!

Hope this forms new thinking grooves in your thinking!

3 letters

This is another one I heard from Kee Meng. I have changed some minor details but the gist of the story is unchanged.

One day, as the new CFO of a company was entering his new office, he met his predecessor on his way out. They exchanged greetings and before they parted ways, the new CFO asked his predecessor for some advice. "Yes, I have left you 3 letters in separate envelopes numbered 1, 2 and 3 in the top drawer. The next time you encounter a problem you cannot resolve, open letter number 1. The 2nd time, number 2 and so forth."

In the next annual general meeting (AGM), the CFO was having difficulties justifying his number and thought to himself that this must be the time for letter number 1 and so he opened it. In there was a note saying "blame it on the previous guy!" So the CFO went to to explain to the shareholders that the damage done by the previous guy requires time to fix and that bought him another year. In the next AGM, the CFO experienced a similar problem and opened letter number 2. In it was a note saying "blame it on the economy!" The CFO explained to the shareholder that uncertainties in the economy and fluctuation in prices of certain raw material have resulted in poorer than expected numbers for the year. Again, it bought him another year. On the 3rd year, the CFO open the last letter and in it was a note saying "it is time to write your 3 letters!"

Four different categories of learning

The lesson we learned can be classified into the following 4 different categories. These are lessons learned from events where:

1. You experienced it yourself. In other words, it happened to you.
   
2. It happened to someone else, and you where there when it happened.
   
3. It was explained to you by someone who have had the experience or were there when it happened to someone else.
   
4. You read or view a documentary about it.

You will agree with me that the most valuable of these lessons are those you experienced personally. Almost as good are those that happened to someone else and you were there when it happened. Next are those told/explained to you by someone who have had the experience or were there when it happened to someone else. Lessons learned this way are not as good as the previous two as missing from these are elements such as body language, air of the moment, details too difficult to articulate etc. The last of these categories are those you learned from reading a book, case study etc. This is very similar to the previous category in that you are removed from the actual experience but unlike the previous category, you cannot ask what you are reading to clarify your understanding but you can of the person relating the experience to you.

There is a subcategory that is somewhere between the 2nd and the 4th category. MBA style case study where a group discusses a case benefits from the combined experience each member brings to the discussion.

Helping others

Toward the mid of my postgraduate studies (something around 1993 I think it was), a student who had done all her PhD research work at a prestigious university transferred to Monash University to essentially writing up her dissertation. I was wondering why she would want her degree from Monash University when she could have gotten one from the other more prestigious university and so I asked her! It turns out that her supervisor (or advisor in American terminology) was supervising another PhD student and she has been asked by her supervisor to help this other student. It reached a point where she could not take it anymore and decided to transfer out of that situation. She was saying that it is not that she does not want to help this other student and she would if she is in the position of strength. Just that at that point in time she has her own PhD dissertation to work on and is not in the position to supervise another person! This is actually a very valuable lesson I fail to learned in time.

There will be a fairly high profile Collaboration Agreement signing between an American and a German Fortune Global 500 company later this afternoon. The product/system at the heart of this agreement involve the usage of RFID technology in health care. The fundamental concept for the system that resulting in this high level collaboration between two multinational giants was first conceived in a "garage" - just the name of an office space used by a small team based in Cyberjaya. This is also a case of one team member helping another. What is disturbing about this is that, it was me who came up with the idea behind this system yet I am here typing this when everyone is now at the ceremony! I have not been invited nor recognized as the "inventor." My failure to learn about helping from a position of strength has resulted in my effort being taken advantage of.

Leadership and The Art of War

Sun Tzu's military treatise, The Art of War, is considered one of the most influential book on strategy in the world to date and it would be interesting to learn what Sun Tzu has to say about leadership. Sun Tzu begins with a chapter on strategic assessments as follows.

"Military action is important to the nation-it is the ground of death and life, the path of survival and destruction, so it is imperative to examine it. Therefore measure in terms of five things, use these assessments to make comparisons, and thus find out what the conditions are. The five things are the way, the weather, the terrains, the leadership, and discipline.

The way means inducing the people to have the same aim as the leadership, so that they will share death and share life, without fear of danger. The weather means the seasons. The terrain is to be assessed in terms of distance, difficulty or ease of travel, dimension, and safety. Leadership is a matter of intelligence, trustworthiness, humaneness, courage, and sternness. Discipline means organization, chain of command, and logistics."

Note the five virtues of a leader and the order in which these virtues are stated. To understand this better consider the following commentary by Jia Lin.

"Reliance on intelligence alone results in rebelliousness. Exercise of humaneness alone results in weakness. Fixation on trust results in folly. Dependence on the strength of courage results in violence. Excessive sternness of command results in cruelty. When one has all five virtues together, each appropriate to its function, then one can be a military leader."

[Above excerpts are from Thomas Cleary's translation of Sun Tzu's Art of War available at Shambhala]

A leader stands infront, with and behind his people

A leader leads from the front seeking adventure and a better world away from harm for his/her people; work with his/her people whenever necessary; and will stand back to allow credit to go to his/her people.

Consider these - all based on true events. A young engineer working on a project noticed that an important feature was missing from the requirement and discussed it with his manager. This young engineer proceed to detail what he thinks is the right way to implement that feature. His manager agrees that the feature should be implemented but override the young engineer on the formulae for some calculation despite the young engineer's protest. When the solution was deployed in the field it was found that it has implemented a faulty formulae just as the young engineer has expected. As this formulae calculates amount of money owing, the sh*t very quickly hit the fence. All blame was then channeled by the manager to this young engineer!

Compare that with this. A team was under fire for some mistake and their manager, as one of the team member describes it, threw herself left, right and center to take all the bullets! Then back at the office behind closed door, this manager would, like a strict parent, make sure that everyone learned from it and not repeat the mistake. A very though manager I was told yet she has many followers.

Lastly this. A team worked long hours over 8 or so months to tape-out a chip on schedule. During this period, the team overcame all issues encountered without troubling their manager. The silicon came back and functions as expected with no major problem. In other words, bugs found were very minor where software work-around can be found. The manager was credited for the success. In the subsequent spin of the design, the manager had a tough schedule to meet and that was passed to the team. A schedule that could not be met given the limited compute resource available to the team. But the manager couldn't or wouldn't do anything about it. As one of the team member commented, "how would he know, he was asleep when we tape-out the first chip."

See this team got their fingers burnt by shielding their manager from the difficulties they were going through with the first silicon. They didn't want to trouble their manager unnecessary but what happened is that the manager got the impression that it was easy and it was his leadership that got them through the first silicon hence him accepting the credit for the success and thought nothing of it when he gave the team a tougher schedule.

The difference between a leader and a manager

A manager is like a technician in a factory. He/she will oil, clean, fine tune his/her machines to ensure smooth running. A leader is a person who will take you on a journey/advanture.

Two kind of good manager

There are 2 kind of good manager. One knows the work and will roll up his sleeves and get his hands dirty if necessary. The other does not and makes coffee for the team!

I once asked a very successful operation manager at an American MNC in Malaysia what's her secret. The first thing she said was this. "I don't know anything about the machine in my production line. But my people do and they will take care of it. In turn, I take care of my people."

Two women, 4.5 month ~> 1 baby?

I heard this from an ex-colleague while working for a Japanese MNC in Australia. His team was running badly behind schedule and he was relating to some of us how some managers where trying to solve the problem by throwing resources at it. Sometime certain task just cannot be rushed and he explained that very succinctly in the following manner.

1 woman, 9 months => 1 baby
2 women, 4.5 months => 2 "half" babies

Common sense is not common until it has gone through your head once

I was approached by some investors sometime around late 1996 to participate in the starting up of an IC design company based in Shah Alam (a city some 25KM west of Kuala Lumpur). As with most small startup companies, pioneers will need to play multiple roles. You are the receptionist, the engineer, the admin, the manager, strategist, negotiator, sales, finance, office boy, coffee lady, driver for the bigger bosses or customers and in some cases you may even be the janitor. As you will be involved in a wide variety of tasks, you will also encounter a wide range of problems. Frequently problems you would never imagine you will ever need to solve if I were to ask you during your final year in university. Yet these are problems you will need to be able to find good solutions to. What I have learned in the 2+ almost 3 years at that startup is that these solutions are usually simple common sense!

In 1998 the MD of a sister company and his business partner were invited to Ghana by the uncle of JJ Rawlings (the 10th President of Ghana). The purpose of the trip was very much to explore business opportunity and I was somehow talked into going as well. Prior to the trip, this MD and I were at the office of the CEO of our holding company and the MD asked the CEO for advice/guidance that would be useful for us during the trip. The CEO said, "use your common sense" and he explained it using an example as followings. He said, whilst holding a small PCB in his hand; "If this board costs $5 don't tell him it is $10. He will be able to work out the actual cost of the board. Instead find ways to do business with him by value adding." The simplicity of this example got me thinking. One would think that if a customer wants a product I have to sell, I would acquire it for $X and sell it to the customer with a margin. Yet it is true that if I were the customer, I will want to know if I am getting a good price. I will even bring my business elsewhere if I am not getting a good deal. Yet up until that point in time, this common sense was not common to me. In other words, common sense is not common until it has gone through your head once.

Rule based

My first full-time job after completing my tertiary degree was with Intel's Penang Design Center in 1995. The first meeting I had with my then manager was lunch! After that I was introduced to the "family" and was shocked when I was given a one person team to lead! Even though I had to manage only one person I had no prior people/project management experience and I was given a "though nut." It was a pretty frightening experience to say the least. Things got worst when my manager got me to conduct interviews. I can still remember very vividly that I was more frighten than the interviewee during the first interview I conducted! I was really out of my league and the whole non-technical experience was very daunting.

As you would expect of a PhD, I started to learn as much as I could about people management. New to Penang (an island on the north-western corner of peninsular Malaysia) and unfamiliar where the libraries are, I hit the bookstore. I would go to a bookstore almost every weekend while I wait for my wife to finish her shopping. I would browse around the management section looking for any thing that has the word "nut" in the title! I was, after all, looking for a way to crack a though nut in the office! Interestingly, I did find a book about managing though nut or something to that effect but that was not a good book. I read a lot of management books that year and that was how my interest in people and project management got started.

During the early phase, it felt as though there would be a set of management principles that would make me a good manager if I were to master them. Over time, I realized that I was not able to find any! Not that I did not observe any good management principles but that each of them seems to be valid conditionally. In other words, there seems to be no universal management principle, or set of principles, that holds true all the time regardless. Which gives me the impression of a rule base system. In other words, a management principle comes with boundary condition when it is applicable and you need to be aware of these boundary conditions.

A real life example is as follows. An associate once read a book about the Chicago Bull and he was telling me how the team don't seem to have a specific leader. He was applying that principle to a young organisation he was starting up and didn't understand why it was not working despite the fact that he has been telling all his guys that the Chicago Bull, a very successful team, is not always lead by one person! This person's team is not matured enough to have his organisation operate at the level of the Chicago Bull and he didn't understand it.

Another was this principle of being open and transparent with your people. I once met this very successful operation manager at an American MNC in Malaysia. Curious what her secret was I asked her to share what makes her such a successful operation manager. One of the things she shared was this. She said, if you are grooming someone for a more senior position, keep that to yourself. She was telling me how having an open and transparent policy regarding such topic backfired on her.

In summing, management principles and many learnings in life are rule based. You need to know the condition upon which a particular principle is applicable. Now at this point, I am very conscious of the previous post in this blog and may someday produce a list of principles I just said don't exists!

Stages of learning

Whenever we embark on a journey to learn something, we go through a series of progression as our understanding matures. The best description of this that I have come across was from a book about Bruce Lee where there was this one paragraph describing how Bruce interprets a punch at different stages of his mastery of the martial art. It goes something like this. During the early stages when he first started to learn martial art, he viewed a punch as just a punch. But as he gains insight into the art, he viewed a punch as more than just a punch. Finally, when he mastered the art, he said a punch is just a punch!

This may explain why some novice think too highly of themselves and those with moderate level of knowledge disregard advice of experts!

The purpose of a tertiary degree

This ought to have been the 2nd posting for this blog!

I went to Monash University in 1984 to do a combined B.Sc./B.E. degree majoring in Computer Science and Electrical & Computer Systems Engineering. During my first year, I went about my studies the way typical of most Malaysian. I was, after all, a product of the Malaysian education system at that point. About mid way through my second year, it struck me that the assignments for computer science seems to get a lot more complex each time. Not only that, I learned that tutors for first and second year where PhD and Masters degree students respectively. You are very much left to work out your own problem during your final year! In other words, you will be given more complex problem over time with less help/assistance. This is a very well structured system that prepare students to be ready to handle complex real world problem after graduation. I felt that each assignment gives us an opportunity to learn/practise problem solving skills and I grow/progress by me learning how to get my head around these problems.

This last point is so obvious yet it caused a paradigm shift in me. From that point on, I see a tertiary degree not where one learn to become an architect, a doctor. an engineer, a lawyer or whatever it is that you are studying to be. But a program where one learn:

• how to learn new things
• how to think
• how to solve problem

It is not that you will not learn these skills if you do not know this while doing your degree. You do. Just that I believe one would missed opportunities to purposely sharpen these skills further during that time. Why do I see these to be so important? Well, I see that we all have to solve problem everyday. Even factory operators will need to solve problems. That is what differentiate us from a machine including those with artificial intelligence!

Baker feeds the world

I love bread. I love bread so much I marry a baker's daughter! And as bakers it was of no surprise to me when I heard my in-laws saying "bakers feed their community!" I paid no attention to this until one morning when I couldn't find anything for breakfast!

Between early 1997 to late 1999, I was involved with a start up in Shah Alam (the capital city of Selangor situated some 25 kilometer west of Kuala Lumpur). After sometime, I became fairly familiar with that area near my office and would normally stop by this shop on my way to work for a pau (Chinese style bun) or two. There was this one morning; I was very hungry and of all mornings this store was closed that morning. Being the only store in that vicinity that is normally open for breakfast I had to go hungry that morning. The value of the service this little store provides is very much felt around the tummy that morning! Pau-maker, or baker for that matter, do feed the community!

Actually, be it a baker, a hair stylist, an auto repairer, sparky, plumber or a garbologist, the contribution of all honest citizen in whatever role they play in their community should be valued.

Asking about someone's family

Recently when I was facilitating a brainstorming session for a sister organisation, they were comparing the closeness of their team in Malaysia with their counterpart in Costa Rica. It was mentioned during the discussion that their Costa Rican counterpart are such a tight team they will ask about their colleague's family member by name. In other words, knowing someone family member and asking about them is taken to show closeness and caring.

I know of this businessman in Malaysia who would almost always ask you how you are and your family after the customary greetings. He was in San Jose for to meet someone he had been communication via email and phone up to that point and he did his usual and asked "How is your family?" To his surprise, he was asked "Which one?!" It turns out that this person has a few!

Now here comes a burnt finger! Most parents love to talk about their kids or ask if you have kids. I was at a birthday party sometime last year and there was this man carrying a little child. I have met this man a few times before but don't really know him. I assumed that it is his kid he is carrying and was trying see if the kid does look like this man and was about to make the remark that the kid looks like him when he frantically waved his hand and said, "This is not my child. We are not related!" It turns out that the child was his wife's nephew! I would be implying an affair had I said it! Very awkward and embarrassing. I was very lucky this man just laugh at the whole situation. It could have been worst than a burnt finger. I shouldn't have made the assumption and could have just ask if that is his child!

Luck is when preparation meets opportunity

This is something told to me by Ng Kee Meng. Kee Meng is my wife's maternal uncle and is someone whom I have always considered as my mentor.

This is how he would say it. "There is no such thing as luck. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity." My mental reaction the first tme I heard this back in early 1995 was "O ya sure, what would you call something falling on your head?" That can't be a bad preparation! You would surely have to call that bad luck right? Well, if you were to view this as being at the wrong place and the wrong time then it does not contain the term "bad luck."
More seriously, I do noticed that opportunities are abound but I am really not in the position to take advantage of them. The following is an example of me not being prepared for an opportunity while a friend is.

Sometime around 1998, an associate company to the startup I was involved in was looking for a new GM and I was being approached for the job. The new GM will need to run a small factory that was having problem with yield. They were producing more WIP (work in progress that need rework) than finished products! I could have taken up the offer, suffer through the early period to learn up what is needed to fix the operation! I know I have sufficient brain to do that. However, since one of the shareholder is a friend, I felt that it is only right if I get him the right person for the job and forwarded this opportunity to two friends. One of them, like myself, is not familar with factory operation and process improvement declared himself unsuitable. The other took the job. This person have spent many years at Motorola and is a recognised as a process expert at Motorola. He finished his MBA about a year prior to this while working at Motorola and was just the person for the job. Within a period of about two years, this small factory had all their yield problem behind them. This friend was subsequently headhunted to be the MD of an American MNC.

It all starts with the intent

The way we go about responding and reacting with others around us is highly influenced by our primary intent. Accordingly, it is important that you start of with the correct intent. With the right intent, you will naturally say and do the right thing.

Don't just take my word for it though, the next time you asked someone something or response to someone in a particular way, asked yourself what your intent really was and had that intent been something else even just subtly different, how would you have asked/responded earlier.

In a similar manner, you could tell a person intent from the way they response and react to an issue.