The way we go about responding and reacting with others around us is highly influenced by our primary intent. Accordingly, it is important that you start of with the correct intent. With the right intent, you will naturally say and do the right thing.
Don't just take my word for it though, the next time you asked someone something or response to someone in a particular way, asked yourself what your intent really was and had that intent been something else even just subtly different, how would you have asked/responded earlier.
In a similar manner, you could tell a person intent from the way they response and react to an issue.
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