Anchor memories

Have you noticed that there are certain things or past events you can remember very vividly and some of these memories hold significant meaning and may even cause you to be emotional just to recall them?  These are some examples.  As usual, these are based on real cases/events but without revealing the identity of the individuals in these stories.

Ravi is someone I was introduced to back in 1995.  I noticed that Ravi is someone who would do anything for his oldest sister.  He would joke around his other siblings but listens to his older sister and never say no to her requests.  I happen to be in the car with him one day and our conversation turned to the very topic of his relationship with his oldest sister.  To the shock of my life this big hero of a man was in tears when he recalled the day his oldest sister gave him a T-shit when he was very little.  See Ravi came from a big family and shall we say not too far from the poverty line.  Life was difficult and his oldest sister went out to work early on in life to bring some income for the family.  He was so trilled by his oldest sister's gift he still have that T-shirt today.

I too have a very similar experience.  I didn't realised it until one evening when I was invited by a fellow postgraduate student at Monash Uni., to his home for dinner.  He was from Hong Kong and some 15 or so years older than I.  To set the mood, he play a CD of a very old Chinese song.  Song my mother would listen to when I was little.  It triggered an image of my mother smiling and singing along with that very song at the house I grew up in and I just cannot control the tear and the emotions that was following through me.  My mother worked and scarified a lot for the family and even though it was an image of her smiling and singing I felt the pain of her scarifies.  So emotional in fact I had to asked my friend to switch it off.

There is yet another image of an event involving my mother.  I think it was at a kindergarten.  A classmate was eating something I have never seen before and I was very interested.  Don't know how my mother realised I was interested, she asked this classmate and pass her (I think it was a girl) some money and I had the luxury of tasting it the following day!  I also recall the countless time I lose my pen and she would give me money to buy new one.  One of those Chinese Hero pens!

As a little kid, every now and then, my father would come home with some delicious food and we would gather round to enjoy it.  Often enough that there are images of these still firmly stuck in my head.

I call these anchor memories.  Memories that has so much impact on me that my view of a person changed.  My view and my world are filled with these anchored memories.  Having kids, I realised that they too refer to some past evernts where they have learned something or has changed their views.  I think creating anchor memories is an "amazing tool" that allow us to shape/create the world of those around us.  Whenever possible, create anchor memories in those close and dear to you.  Not to manipulate them but to create meaningful memories to fill their world.