Opportunity to earn loyalty, trust & respect

I believe most of us will agree that true respect, loyalty, trust and the like are not something we can demand even by force but instead they have to be earned. I also believed most of us will agree that one earns these by the way we conduct ourselves. What about opportunity to earn these? All the time whenever there is an interaction or are there certain occasion that's more favorable?  A chance meeting with a friend recently prompted this entry. He worked for a company known generally to be a good employer yet an event with his manager ended up with his departure from that company. Though this is yet another good example of a case that people join great company, leaves bad manager, it also highlight another important aspect about opportunity to earn loyalty, trust and respect. Let me start with a story I heard from my father years ago. He told us that he was told it is a true story but his facial expression at the time he told us this story seems to suggest that he is not totally convinced that it is though. Anyhow, this is the story.

Years ago, there was a man who worked as an accountant for an employer where he would only have the opportunity to go home once a year during the lunar new year. On one occasion he had a bet with his employer and when asked how much he would place on the bet, this man said his entire year salary! It turns out that this man lost the bet and when it came time to prepare for his journey home that year, he was rather depressed. When his employer asked him why he is so depressed, he said now that he has lost that bet, he has nothing to bring home. His employer told him that he should at least bring a basket of food, already prepared for him, back to his family for the new year. As there is nothing more he could do, he went home with the basket of food. When he arrived home, he was still rather depressed and when his wife asked him why, he apologized to his wife saying that he has lost the whole year's income on a bet with his employer and he could only bring a basket of food that year. Having already unpacked the basket, his wife said, what are you talking about, the money is at the bottom of the basket. This man rushed to count the money and there was his whole years income. Not a cent short. This man then rushed back to his employer immediately and when he arrived his employer was concerned why this man is back before the new year celebration and asked if everything was alright. His response to that was "Sir, I shall work for you for the rest of my life even if I don't get paid."

I have always took this story to convey the message that you win/earn loyalty, trust and respect when you perform an incredibly good deed for someone when it is not expected. This is certainly not a law that holds true all the time though. It is highly unlikely that an ungrateful selfish person would reciprocate anything done for them. But what is interesting is that this story also tell us that there are occasions where we could earn loyalty, trust and respect by showing other our true color.

The case of my friend above was is follows. He was working on the other side of the world from his home country and he has some family matters back in his home country that requires him to be there for an extended period. His request for an unpaid leaves was rejected. I am sure this company must have a good reason why his request is rejected. And from the information I gathered from this friend, it sure sounded like his manager does not see him as someone worth retaining. Something I have difficulties understanding as this friend is a fairly smart and capable person and received offers from various international firms (listed in Fortune list of Best Companies to work for) the moment he tendered his resignation. Perhaps, his manager was reluctant to deal with the complications of allowing him off on an unpaid leave, but my feeling is this. If this manager is genuinely caring and help him out with whatever arrangement possible in one way or another, even if not exactly to how my friend has requested, I am sure it will show my friend how caring a person his manager is thereby earning his respect/loyalty and he will surely reciprocate.